Ten Old-School Tips for Keeping a Job, Even in Hard Times

When I started my very first job more than 20 years ago, my father gave me one piece of advice – be the first one in the office in the morning and the last one to leave at night.  Although he had spent most of his life working in factories, he knew this to be true and in all of my jobs since then, including managing my own business, I’ve never gone wrong with this mantra.

In addition, here are ten more tips for impressing your bosses:

1. Listen more than you talk – You may know some stuff but you don’t know everything.  If you’re starting out in your career, you have a lot to learn from others who have been doing it longer.  If you don’t understand a particular decision or strategy, ask for the rationale so you can learn.

2. Don’t worry about your co-workers – Unless they are jeopardizing a project, don’t spend a lot of time complaining about your co-workers.  You may think you work harder than they do but you don’t know if they take work home at night or come in on the weekend.

3. Learn how to manage your time – Most offices open at a set time and everyone should be there by then with no excuses. If you find it hard to arrive at the office on time, you will miss out on opportunities and it is unlikely that you will be promoted.  Similarly, arrive at meetings on time and ready to contribute.

4. Don’t be afraid to ask for a raise – but be prepared to explain what you have done to deserve it in documented detail. 

5. Don’t forget where you came from – Promotions usually mean more work, not less.  Yes, you can now delegate tasks to more junior employees but you are still responsible for the final product.

6. Become an expert – although you should have a working knowledge of all the facets of your business, become the ‘go-to’ person on at least one thing.  Devote yourself to becoming the most knowledgeable person in the office in this area and you will always be in demand.

7. Get organized – Keep your office space neat and tidy.  If your boss asks you for something, she will not be impressed by watching you rifle through unruly stacks of paper.

8. Be informed – Read at least one source of news before you arrive at the office but preferably more.  You should never find out important news from a client.

9. You are not above anything – No matter what your qualifications, experience or intelligence, you are there to simplify the lives of your managers.  Perform every task with enthusiasm and impeccability.

10. Don’t be a troublemaker – Nothing is more toxic to a workplace than a person who is trying to stir up dissent.  If you are truly unhappy, take your case to your manager or find another environment that better suits your needs.

Why You're Luckier Than You Think

Everything I know about life I learned from Warren Buffett. Well, not quite, but they don't call him the sage of Omaha for nothing. One of the things I love about the legendary investor is his acceptance  of the role that luck plays in his life. Despite his undeniable brilliance, proficiency with numbers and unparalleled discipline over many years, he maintains that his success is due to being in the "right place at the right time with the right skills".

Although there's a pervasive mythology that he's entirely self-made, his father was actually a stockbroker who was elected to four terms of the United States Congress. Had Buffett's father been an uneducated coal-miner, would he have risen to the same heights? Perhaps, but he never underestimates the role of good fortune in his life.

Buffett's approach appeals to me not just because it's incredibly gracious but also because it's in such stark contrast to the opinions of many mildly and fabulously successful people who believe they are 100 per cent responsible for everything they have. This phenomenon is not limited to the super-rich. It exists at every strata of society, including that lowest rung on the ladder of success, reality show "stars" who have parlayed being born into privilege into a "career". In fact, it seems to be a particular human failing that, once some people achieve any kind of success, they start to believe their own PR and before long, they're telling everyone how hard they've worked to get where they are. Maybe they have worked hard but that doesn't mean they haven't also been lucky. Luck is everywhere and everyone benefits from it whether they realize it or not.

I have spent many years working with and managing other people, seven of those running my own business. Most of the people who have reported to me over the years have been hard workers and some of them are so talented, adaptable and resourceful that they would excel in any situation. Others did well but part of their success was due to the efforts of managers who set them up for success by playing to their strengths, giving them assignments they could handle, rearranging their office hours to suit their family demands, and so on. And now that I have some perspective on things, I can look back and see the many ways that the stars aligned for me in my career even though at the time I believed it was all down to me.

Canadian author Malcolm Gladwell explores the importance of luck in his book Outliers,claiming that "the biggest misconception about success is that we do it solely on our smarts, ambition, hustle and hard
work". Gladwell delves into the background of several of the world's most successful people, and reveals factors, unrelated to innate talent or hard work, which greatly benefited them. As an example, he states that the majority of high-level Canadian hockey players were born in the first few months of the year. Since youth hockey leagues are organized by calendar years, kids born on January 1st play on the same team as kids born on  December 31st, which means they are often stronger and faster, pegged as promising athletes early in life and more likely to be chosen for advanced teams. He also reveals that, not only did Bill Gates come from a wealthy family, he was also fortunate enough to attend the only middle school in the entire country
with a computer lab. Gladwell doesn't suggest that Gates wouldn't be successful without that early benefit but wonders if he would be worth $50 billion if he didn't have access to a computer at a time when they weren't commonplace.

When speaking of luck, Buffett often talks about the 'genetic jackpot" whereby "the right endowment of vocal chords, anatomical structure, physical strength, or mental powers" can result in massive success or wealth.   And while we're on the topic of anatomical structure, is there anything more annoying than a supermodel who shares insights on how she is personally responsible for her achievements?  If ever there was a profession based on pure dumb luck, it's that of the supermodel.

One such creature, stunner Gisele Bundchen, frequently infuriates ordinary women with her pontifications such as this post-pregnancy quote: "I think a lot of people get pregnant and decide they can turn into garbage disposals. I was mindful about what I ate, and I gained only 30 pounds." She was back to a fabulous, pre-baby figure and strutting on the catwalk just weeks after delivering her son. I'm sure she did eat healthy. I'm sure she exercised and did yoga and all of that stuff but guess what? Millions of women do that and they don't look like her.  Wouldn't it be wonderfully refreshing if someone like her said, "I am extremely fortunate that I have become a millionaire based solely on things that are completely beyond my control and I get to live this life through sheer luck".

Regardless of how hard you have studied or worked in life, luck has played a role in small and large ways. Here are some ordinary ways you might have been lucky:

• You were born and/or raised in Canada. This alone gives you more opportunities than most of the world's population.
• You have ever gotten a job without going through the application process
• You have a parent who used connections to help you get an "in" somewhere
• You have been given a car, home or home down payment as a gift
• You don't have student loans
• You grew up in a large city 
• You showed early proficiency in something (e.g. music, art, sports) and your family had the financial resources to help you explore your talents
• You are more attractive, tall, intelligent, etc. than most people
• You grew up in a household where you were loved, nurtured and encouraged
• You have parents/in-laws who are willing/able to provide free childcare relieving you of a huge financial burden

These are small bits of luck that people in this country experience every day.  They might not seem like a big deal but they have helped give you an edge.  Luck is good. We all have some. Some have more than others and we all go through periods where we seem to have nothing but bad luck.

So next time you're feeling unlucky or congratulating yourself on being totally self-made, think about the role of luck in your life and show a little gratitude.  The more you appreciate your good luck, the more of it you'll have.

Saying Goodbye to a Classy Guy

I watched a sitcom episode years ago in which the main characters decided to write obituaries for themselves, even though none of them were facing imminent death.  The idea was, if you wrote your obituary in the tone you want to be remembered, you would live out your life accordingly.  Each character wrote a lofty obituary filled with praise and laudatory statements about how they made the world a better place, lived a life of integrity, and so on.  At first, they tried to live up to the words they had written about themselves but after a few weeks, it proved too cumbersome and they were back to their old spiteful, petty selves. Hilarity ensued!

Yesterday in Canada, Jack Layton, a lifelong politician,
died after a battle with cancer. A state funeral has been organized and long obituaries and tributes will dominate the media today.  All of those obituaries will describe him as a passionate, optimistic, tireless advocate for the downtrodden, a man who truly did dedicate his life to improving the world for others, a person who never waffled on his beliefs, a downright classy guy and a decent human being.  And unlike the fake obituary writers in the TV show, Jack will deserve every word of the praise posthumously
lavished upon him because he genuinely lived his life that way. What's more, many of those tributes will come from 'enemies', voters of all political stripes.

While every politician needs to possess the drive to succeed, a strong competitive instinct and a love of the spotlight, over time, most of them become consumed with those things and in their rise to the top, are more focussed on their own self-importance than the needs of their constituents.  Jack didn't seem to succumb to this plight.  While I did not support his political party, I always believed that he was 100 per cent engaged in what he saw as the fight for justice and equality and that he believed his destiny lay in helping advance the causes of those who didn't have a voice.  It has made me think about how lovely it would be to live life in such a way that even those who disagree with you, remember you fondly.

Just before he died, Jack wrote an open letter to Canadians in which he asked them to remember that "love is better than anger, hope is better than despair, optimism is better than despair".  Classy words from a classy guy.

RIP Jack Layton.

Does Your Movie Theatre Etiquette Deserve an R-Rating?

I am at a stage in my life where I attend a lot of kids' movies.  My kids are old enough to sit through a movie without getting restless but still too young to go on their own so I spend many Saturday and Sunday afternoons in theatres with other parents and their offspring.  Once in a while, if the filmmakers have inserted some smart adult in-jokes, it's enjoyable (Megamind).  More often, the humour appeals only to the kindergarten crowd and I'm just passing the time (Mr. Popper's Penguins) and sometimes, the offerings are so dull, even the kids are bored (Legend of the Guardians).

Iearned early on that movie theatre etiquette, already struggling to survive in adult-themed movies, is almost non-existent at screenings of kids' movies.

Some relaxing of the rules is to be expected.  By their nature, kids are louder, clumsier and messier than most adults and they are still learning the rules of appropriate social behaviour, (presuming their parents are bothering to teach them at all).  They rustle candy wrappers incessantly, loudly guzzle drinks and chew popcorn and, need to get up and visit the facilities more often than their adult counterparts.  And their childlike innocence and sense of wonder is on full view when they exclaim out loud that the anthropomorphic car is in trouble or the princess needs to run away.  I don't have a problem with any of this.

I have however, noticed a disturbing trend taking shape at these screenings and it has to do with the chaparones.  Some of the adults at kids' movies seem to think that since they're not there to see a movie of their choice, they are allowed to behave in ways they would never dare if they were out to see an adult movie.  At a recent screening of CARS 2, I was seated next to a woman and her daughter of about five. She yapped loudly on her cell phone right through the credits and once the movie started, pulled out a paperback novel and used the light from the device to illuminate the pages.  As anyone who has ever sat next to a movie theatre texter knows, this is extremely annoying.  After about ten minutes, I attempted to initiate a polite conversation. Here's how it went:

Me: Excuse me, would you mind turning off your cell phone?  
Rude mom: I beg your pardon? (delivered in a snarky tone)
Me: Could you please turn off your cell phone?  I''m finding the light very distracting.
Rude mom: I can't believe you would even notice it.  Why don't you mind your own business?
Me: It's hard not to notice when you're sitting right next to me
Rude mom: If you can see the light from my cell phone then you're focussing too much on me.  There's no way you should be able to notice this.

Despite her rudeness, I must have gotten through to her on some level because 15 minutes later, she turned it off and took to holding the book up at an angle that would reflect the light from the movie screen and craned her neck so she could read it that way.  Nevertheless, I spent the rest of the movie with my head firmly facing front, lest she accuse me of "focussing on her too much" again.  There was an incident later on where her daughter repeatedly kicked the head of the man in front of her and when he complained about it, he was treated with the same disdain but I won't get into it here.

As someone who believes in civility, it's not uncommon for me to politely ask someone to refrain from rude behaviour in public.  And, since I'm often rebuffed, ignored or told to go do something anatomically impossible, I have developed a thick skin around it.  What makes this situation disturbing is the poor example parents like this are setting for their children.  This woman's daughter heard the whole conversation and at a young age, might conclude that her mother's behaviour is appropriate, that there is no need to respond to polite requests in kind, and that it's okay to go through life doing whatever she wants, regardless of its impact on others.

So, is it realistic to expect silence during a screening of a children's movie?  No, of course not.  But, when you take your child out into public, it behooves you to behave like an adult and set a good example.

A Fabulous Example of Unexpected Kindness

I'm a bit of an information junkie.  First thing in the morning and last thing at night, I can be found trolling through my favourite news, opinion and pop culture websites and blogs, catching up on the latest news.  Lately, it seems this obsession has been just feeding my belief that the world truly is going to hell.  Lately, the world seems to be rife with the sad - teens murdered in Norway, the distressing - the UK phone hacking scandal, and the truly pathetic - the cost of a Kardashian wedding.

It's really easy to absorb all of this and to assume that there's no hope, everyone is corrupt (or corruptible), reality shows (and the 'stars' they spawn) are taking over and dumbing down the entire population and most people will do anything for a buck.

But, the upside of having an emotionally-charged personality is that it doesn't take much to bring me out of my reverie.  A little bit of human kindness lifts my spirits and I bounce right back.  Here's what did it today.

A while back, Alan Guei, an 18-year-old high school student from Compton (Los Angeles inner city), won a $40,000 scholarship at a free-throw basketball competition.  A few weeks later, he was awarded a full scholarship to the university of his choice.
Knowing that his post-secondary costs were now taken care of, he donated his entire $40,000 prize to the other kids in the free  throw competition.  In his words,  “I’m well taken care of to go to school. I could have kept the money, but I figured why
not give the money to others that needed it more than I (do). These kids wanted to go to school and they were having a lot of financial (troubles) and I figured why not help them.”. You can read the whole story here

It's interesting that this story took place in Los Angeles, which also happens to be home to the biggest collection of spoiled, vapid, irresponsible young people in the world, a world where people become celebrities for nothing more than being born into wealth, videotaping their sexual escapades and behaving like cretins on reality TV.  Although he didn't seek fame or notoriety, this young man has achieved celebrity for his kindness and we can all learn a lot from him.

Just when I think I've seen it all...

People often ask me to name the worst etiquette faux pas.  While there are some basic etiquette rules that should never be broken, there's no list that ranks gaffes in order of most egregious.  Besides, people are annoyed by different things and what might be the height of rudeness to one person is perfectly acceptable to another. Having said that, I know what my answer would be.

 

 In order, the top three things that drive me crazy are:

1. Inappropriate cell phone use

2. Cheating at four-way stop signs

3. Chewing gum with your mouth open

So I'm always ready to share cell phone horror stories and remind people of cell phone etiquette courtesy (whether they ask for it or not).  In Toronto, we are surrounded by a cacophony of jangling ringtones, loud talkers and people trying to balance phones between their shoulder and jaw as they try to multi-task.  While other people can tune it out, I never get used to it and it continues to rankle me day after day.

Just when I thought I had seen (and heard) it all, I witnessed something the other night that shocked even me. 

I was getting a pedicure in a local salon. It's a small shop and in addition to myself, there were three other customers and three staff members.  One of the customers was making very loud, back-to-back cell phone calls all through her manicure.  When the technician was working on one hand, she would hold the phone in the other.  When it was time for that hand's nails to be painted, she would switch hands.  You get the picture.

When her nails were finally finished, the technician politely asked her to refrain from using her phone until her nails were completely dry.  I breathed a sigh of relief that we would finally have some respite from her incessant, one-sided chatter.  But it was not to be.  Without missing a beat, she placed the phone on the table, carefully punched in some numbers and then (gasp), put it on speaker phone.  A man called Boris answered and she proceeded to have a loud, annoying conversation with him without even telling him that a) he was on speaker and b) seven other hapless victims were hearing the entire call. Their conversation lasted about 10 minutes, turned into a heated argument, revealed lots of personal details about poor Boris and had the cumulative effect of making all of us squirm in our seats and look at each other in amazement.  We tried to give her the look of death but she was absolutely immune to it, so wrapped up in her own world.

The salon staff apologized to the other customers but didn't seem to feel comfortable asking her to end the call so I did it for them, in the most polite way possible of course. She looked at me like I was the rude one, stood up and stormed out of the store.

This example is rife with examples of poor cell phone etiquette but, just as a refresher, I'll summarize the usage guidelines here:

1. Don't have a long cell phone conversation in a place where people cannot escape from you - this means elevators, grounded airplanes, cafes, restaurants, retail checkout lines and salons.

2. If you must have a cell phone conversation in public, try to maintain at least 10 feet between you and the next human.

3. Unless it's a business boardroom and a conference call is planned, never have a speaker phone conversation in the vicinity of other people.

4. Never put the person on the other end of the line on speaker phone without asking their permission, or at the very least, giving them a heads-up.

5. Don't yell.  The microphones on cell phones are so good these days that you could almost use a whisper and people would still be able to hear you.

6. Don't share sensitive information in the vicinity of other people - for security and embarrassment reasons, refrain from sharing personal details, phone numbers, email addresses, snail mail addresses, negotiation or proprietary information or information of a competitive nature.

7. Ditch the cutesy rings if you're an adult - I know many people disagree with me on this one but I don't want to hear a tinny rendition of "All the Single Ladies" squeezed out of the tiny speakers on your iPhone.

8.Turn off your ringer in any place where it would annoy others (e.g. during a speech, at an awards show, at a  performance, at the movies, etc.) and if you happen to forget, please for the love of God, don't pick it up and start talking.

Hope this is helpful.  Let me know if there are any other cell phone situations that bug you.

Weigh the options before you pull a Johnny Paycheck

Take this Job and Shove It...If you're over 40, you probably remember that old Johhny Paycheck song. It's a sad tale about a man who worked long and hard for no reward. It struck such a chord with disgruntled workers in America, that it spent 18 weeks at Number 1, was the basis for a movie of the same name and has become an anthem for overworked and under-appreciated employees everywhere.

I found myself humming this song as I read about Kai Nagata, a 24-year-old CTV correspondent who became so disillusioned with what he termed the "Barbie and Ken" style of TV news that he felt he had no choice but to resign. But he didn't just hand in his letter, eat his farewell cake, clear his desk and leave. Instead, he chose to vent his frustration in a 3,000-word missive about everything that's wrong with the business. The essay went on to receive widespread attention from journalists across Canada and was even lauded by Roger Ebert.

Before I go any further, let me say that his parting words, admittedly well-written, are much more eloquent than the words in the Johnny Paycheck song and he makes some valid points. Among other claims, Nagata bemoans the "unspoken ratio of talent to attractiveness" and the focus on the recent royal visit when "there was real news happening". And, in a world where few people act with integrity, I admire his decision not only to resign from a position which doesn't align with his personal values but also to have the courage to outline the reason for his departure in so candid a manner.

From a business etiquette viewpoint however, I don't believe it's a good idea to burn your bridges so spectacularly at such a young age. I'm not totally against the burning of bridges and I've torched a few myself but in each case, I weighed the pros and cons of the consequences and really asked myself if my discomfort, dislike or disgust of the person or organization was so great that I was comfortable knowing I could never count on them for support again On the few cases, I decided to burn a bridge, I shared my opinions freely but only with my direct supervisor, in person and in private and without any desire to gain fame or notoriety from it.

Although he may be one of the few to act on his impulses, Nagata is simply the latest in a long line of young people (myself included) who have chosen a profession, studied it and dreamed of all the wonderful things we would do with it, only to find out that, once we were finally working in our chosen field, it didn't live up to our expectations. This is a huge disappointment for an idealistic young person and sadly, remains a source of frustration for many people who have been toiling away for decades.

We are all tested in the workplace and we all face times when we have to decide whether or not we should continue working at a job which has become unpleasant, that is, assuming we have the freedom to do so. If such freedom exists then we need to establish our personal threshold for frustration. How important it is that the way we pay our bills match our personal values, that the role we have is the one we signed up for, that the business operations of our employer match the values on its mission statement, that we feel comfortable with the state of the industry in which we toil?

And if it's unbearable, then we leave, and etiquette dictates that we do it in as gracious a manner as possible, not only because it's the professional thing to do, but also because it's a small world and we need all the friends we can get.

I'm not sure how the future will unfold for this young man. Perhaps the infamy he has achieved from his farewell letter will catapult him to a much more rewarding position and his risk will have been well worth it. But he's very young and has a lot of working years left. Let's hope he never has to ask his former employers for a reference.

Have you ever told someone to "take this job and shove it?" I'd love to hear about it.