Handling Awkward Situations With Class

In a truly cringe-worthy spectacle, back-from-obscurity talk show host Kathy Lee Gifford made a spectacular faux pas yesterday while interviewing Martin Short.  After pronouncing his marriage a showbiz success story, she asked him how many years he had been married and other lighthearted questions like how he keeps things romantic with his wife.

While it's true that Martin and his wife Nancy Dolman were married for 36 years, the sad truth is that she passed away from ovarian cancer in 2010.

There were many ways that Short could have handled this extremely awkward situation and no one would have judged him if he had become irate, but he chose to be a class act and show us all a thing or two about grace under pressure.  He answered her questions and moved on without correcting her.  Short is a seasoned professional who knows how to think on his feet and while I don't know what was going through his mind, he probably decided that informing the hapless Kathy Lee that his wife was dead on live TV would only make it worse for everyone.

After the segment, Kathy Lee apologized to Short on Twitter but I'm hoping she took the time to do it in person as well.  And, I'm sure there's a researcher at the Today Show who is dusting off his or her resume this morning.

On the other side of the spectrum, at an awards ceremony I attended last night, someone was called up to the stage to present an award.  When the MC handed her the microphone, she explained to him that he had pronounced her last name incorrectly and informed him of the correct pronunciation.  The MC was obviously uncomfortable and under the circumstances, the correction seemed unnecessary. It was a long night and it's unlikely that the paths of these two people will cross again.

While most of us will never have to deal with questions about a deceased spouse on live television, we could all learn from Martin Short on how to handle someone's gaffe with aplomb.

When There's Bad News, A Little Accountability Goes A Long Way

Don't be afraid to face the music...

There's a situation happening in my kids' school.  We live in a high-growth area and we've been informed that plans are afoot to build a new school and move some of the children there in 2014.  Depending on how invested parents are in a particular school, news like this prompts various degrees of panic and within a few weeks, the rumours were flying.  To allay their fears, some school board officials offered to meet with parents and answer questions.  An email distribution list was created, parents shared their questions and concerns and, since we were no longer officially in a communications vacuum, the rumours died down.  To make things easier for the school officials, we even sent them our questions ahead of time.

Alas, the meeting was cancelled for no reason (at least none that was shared) and postponed for at least eight months.  Follow-up emails were not answered. 

Without the benefit of an explanation for their sudden change of heart, speculation ran rampant and most people concluded that the school board officials had "chickened out" once they saw the questions.  This could be true.  Or it could be something else much less damning but we don't know because we weren't told.  While chatting with a fellow parent, I suggested that no one can get upset with you when you are sharing information in a kind way.  It's a bit of a throwaway line but what I mean is, any time you're in a situation where you have to tell people things they don't want to hear, the medium is almost as important as the message.

I have had many opportunities to share disappointing, unwelcome or just plain "bad" news in my life and I know without a doubt, that it is always better to face the music, stand in front of people, and tell them what you know.  Even if you know nothing, even if you can't answer a single question, you need to stand there, listen to your stakeholders, acknowledge their fears, address what you can, promise to follow up on things and apologize where necessary.  And, where there's an issue of importance to a group of people to whom you're accountable, don't cancel a scheduled meeting.  Even if you think your presence will not be beneficial, be honest and let them decide if they still want to meet with you.  They probably will and if they don't, they'll appreciate your honesty. 

It's not the problem, it's how you deal with it that counts

Many years ago, on one of my first ever business trips, I boarded a non-stop Air Canada flight to Los Angeles. About 90 minutes later, the pilot announced that we would be making an unscheduled landing in Cincinnati and would need to get a connecting flight to LA from there.  As we were herded out of the plane, smiling flight attendants assured us that Air Canada reps were waiting in the airport to usher us to our new planes.  Some of the more seasoned travelers rolled their eyes but as I was still unjaded, I marched down the jetway and was completely surprised when in fact, there were no Air Canada reps waiting for us. We wandered around till we found the Air Canada service counter only to find that the befuddled staff had no idea who we were or why we were expecting to be put on planes to LA free of charge.  This was just the first of many air travel disruptions that have left me feeling in the dark, out of the loop and completely alone.  The most recent was a four-hour delay on the tarmac in Paris with half a cup of water and only the briefest, most vague information on what was going on.  But this is not a post about air travel, and it's not even a post about Air Canada.  I have been treated like garbage, ignored, lied to and left alone by many large airlines.

This is about a customer service experience I had with train travel.  I go to Montreal on business a few times a year and always travel by train.  With VIA Rail's first class service, I don't have to arrive at the station until 15 minutes before my train leaves, the staff are pleasant and helpful, there are no security check lines and, I usually have a glass of wine in my hand before the train clears the Greater Toronto Area.  With free Wi-Fi and lots of room to spread out and work, it makes for a relaxing and productive five hours and even though it's a five hour journey, I always arrive refreshed.

I've done this many times and have never had a problem but my luck ran out last week when my east-bound train ran aground west of Kingston.  Less than ten minutes later, the driver came on the loudspeaker to tell us that there was a problem with the engine and the engineer had gone to try to fix it.  I was slightly alarmed but figured it would be resolved soon and went back to my paperwork.  As the engineer tinkered away, the driver communicated with us at least every ten minutes for a half hour until he finally announced, apologizing profusely, that they were unable to restart the engine.  At that point, he said he was communicating with central control about how to get us safely to Montreal and promised he'd be back with details later.  True to his word, he came back on the loudspeaker five minutes later to tell us that we would be transferred onto another eastbound train that was about 20 minutes behind us but, since it was ending its run in Brockville, we would have to continue on to Montreal by bus.  This prompted moans and groans and mumbled profanity from the passengers and at least one panic attack by a woman who was horrified at thought of a prolonged bus ride.  Shortly after, the staff came around to chat with us in person, answer questions, and provide details on when we would actually arrive in Montreal.

20 minutes later, we were on board a second train hurtling towards Brockville.  For logistical reasons, we were downgraded to economy class but staff from the first train came with us and brought drinks and snacks to hand out to everyone.  When we pulled into Brockville, the buses were already waiting and warmed up and while they were a far cry from the first class cabin of the train, they were comfortable, if cramped.  The VIA staff who had been with us since Toronto were also forced to ride on the bus with us and again, they brought bottles of water, snacks, soft drinks and pillows.  They continued to answer our questions and before we got off, they provided complete details about how we could be refunded for our lost time and convenience.  We finally arrived at the Montreal train station at 1 a.m., three and a half hours later than our scheduled arrival time of 9:40 p.m.

So, is it a problem when a transportation company can't fulfill its promise?  Yes!  Was it a huge inconvenience that the first train broke down?  Absolutely!  I had planned to do five hours of work on my train trip and I only got in 90 minutes.  I didn't get to bed until 2 a.m. and was exhausted and disoriented the next day.  But, that said, overall I was impressed with how VIA handled the situation and how different it was from similar experiences with airline travel.  From the start, the staff were honest about the problem and the possible consequences.  They communicated regularly throughout the ordeal and handled angry customers in a way that diffused potential outbursts.  All of the staff members we encountered apologized several times for our troubles and they provided complete details on how we would be reimbursed within hours of the service breakdown.  And while they were on the bus with us for purely logistical reasons (it was their only way of getting home), somehow it softened the situation and made it difficult to continue to complain.

It's been said many times but people are generally willing to forgive any screw-up as long as you take responsibility, apologize appropriately and work to make amends.  In cases like this, the story becomes more about how a crisis is handled, rather than how the actual crisis happened.  I have always been a fan of VIA but despite being inconvenienced, I actually have more respect for the company now than I had before. After all, it's easy for people to be kind and happy when things are going well.  It's how people behave during a crisis that reveals their true character.

A Fabulous Example of Unexpected Kindness

I'm a bit of an information junkie.  First thing in the morning and last thing at night, I can be found trolling through my favourite news, opinion and pop culture websites and blogs, catching up on the latest news.  Lately, it seems this obsession has been just feeding my belief that the world truly is going to hell.  Lately, the world seems to be rife with the sad - teens murdered in Norway, the distressing - the UK phone hacking scandal, and the truly pathetic - the cost of a Kardashian wedding.

It's really easy to absorb all of this and to assume that there's no hope, everyone is corrupt (or corruptible), reality shows (and the 'stars' they spawn) are taking over and dumbing down the entire population and most people will do anything for a buck.

But, the upside of having an emotionally-charged personality is that it doesn't take much to bring me out of my reverie.  A little bit of human kindness lifts my spirits and I bounce right back.  Here's what did it today.

A while back, Alan Guei, an 18-year-old high school student from Compton (Los Angeles inner city), won a $40,000 scholarship at a free-throw basketball competition.  A few weeks later, he was awarded a full scholarship to the university of his choice.
Knowing that his post-secondary costs were now taken care of, he donated his entire $40,000 prize to the other kids in the free  throw competition.  In his words,  “I’m well taken care of to go to school. I could have kept the money, but I figured why
not give the money to others that needed it more than I (do). These kids wanted to go to school and they were having a lot of financial (troubles) and I figured why not help them.”. You can read the whole story here

It's interesting that this story took place in Los Angeles, which also happens to be home to the biggest collection of spoiled, vapid, irresponsible young people in the world, a world where people become celebrities for nothing more than being born into wealth, videotaping their sexual escapades and behaving like cretins on reality TV.  Although he didn't seek fame or notoriety, this young man has achieved celebrity for his kindness and we can all learn a lot from him.