You're never too senior to carry boxes in PR

 Your first job promotion is a mixed blessing.  When you hear the news that you're moving up the ladder, you feel great.  You've proven yourself worthy of more responsibility, you have a more important-sounding title and hopefully, a pay increase. But the initial elation wears off when you realize that colleagues who were friends last week now report to you, HR has been added to your job description and you don't actually get to ditch all the things you disliked about your former role.  In fact, a promotion often means you will do your former job, as well as a new one.

In 20 years experiencing my own, often stumbling, movements through the management ranks and witnessing the behaviour of my own team members once they've been promoted, I've noticed one constant - delegation is not what it's cracked up to be.  In fact, it's much less fun than anyone ever imagines.

While a junior role requires you to draft a news release and submit it for review, your shiny new senior role has a lot more steps.  You have to receive the assignment from your manager, choose a team member to handle it, meet with them to discuss it, set expectations and deadlines, follow up if the deadline is looming and you haven't seen anything, review the draft, meet with the staff member to share your feedback and provide suggestions for improvement, set another deadline for the revised draft, and then go through the process all over again.  And when you do finally have a workable document, you must resist the urge to rewrite the whole thing and accept that just because it's not "the way you would do it" doesn't mean it isn't good quality.  

In a management role, even if you only have one direct report, this scenario repeats itself all day everyday and due to the frantic, often last-minute nature of public relations, many assignments don't have the luxury of time for training and mentorship so you do them yourself anyway and at events, you'll often find yourself carrying boxes, fetching water for speakers, tracking down A/V people and other tasks you thought you had left behind when you were promoted. No such luck.

When I finally became a vice president at a PR agency, I thought, "This is it.  I've arrived.  No more schlepping boxes for me."  Only, it didn't work out that way.  While there was certainly a delineation between my role, the most junior person in the office, and everyone in between, I still found myself carrying boxes of press kits, straightening signage, picking up lunch for demanding celebrity spokespersons and, on one occasion, doing a midnight Wal-Mart run because, after setting up for an early morning event, a client was unsatisfied with the particular shade of purple on the tablecloths. I could have delegated the task but I was the only person who owned a car, I lived closest to the store and my staff, who had been on their feet for 18 hours, were exhausted.  It was not the time for a power play.

When I kvetched about this to a mentor of mine who is president of a large global agency based in Atlanta, he said, "You have to realize that, in PR, no matter how high up the chain you are, you will never stop carrying boxes."  While I was immediately gratified to find out I wasn't alone, I was distressed to realize that if even he was admitting this, then it must be true.

He went on to explain that while everyone in an agency has a different role and each step involves the shedding of old duties and the responsibility for new ones, everyone on a team is responsible for the final product whether it's a perfectly executed communications plan, a spectacular launch event or successfully shepherding the organization through a crisis.  He also reminded me that event management is a big part of PR agency life and no matter how far ahead you plan and how many times you confirm the details, things will go wrong.  Speakers cancel, planes are delayed, product is stopped at the border, A/V systems malfunction, taxi drivers get lost, flowers wilt, employees get ill, there aren't enough coat hangers, client approval is late, and so on.  But the show must go on and at that point, it's all hands on deck to make it happen. While someone has to take charge and direct traffic, there's no reason that person can't also carry boxes, if that's what's required to make it happen.  

In his book, The 48 Laws of Power, which I recommend as a fascinating insight into how people operate, author Robert Greene suggests that to attain true power, you must "Keep Your Hands Clean" and avoid doing the dirty work.  He would suggest that, at a big business event, the true leader arrives at the last minute looking fresh and professional wearing a clean suit and carrying nothing.  This will set him or her apart from the "workers" who have only a few minutes to wipe the dust off their clothes, throw on their event shoes, slick on some lip gloss and squirt Visine into tired eyes before the lights go up.  

I'm sure Greene would disagree with my mentor's assertion that you'll always carry boxes in PR, at least in the sense of establishing your credibility as a powerful leader.  Others leadership gurus would say you need to roll up your sleeves to gain the support of your team. 

What do you think about carrying boxes?  Good or bad leadership strategy?

Do You Hide Behind A Social Media Alter Ego?

A few weeks ago, I was captivated by the news of Caterpillar closing its plant in London, Ontario.  Although it wasn't confirmed, it was widely suggested that the company was moving the jobs to a plant in Muncie, Indiana, a town that has been decimated by the American economic recession.  After reading a news story in the Muncie Star Press, I decided to add a comment from a Canadian point of view.  After I typed my comment, I hit submit and received a message stating that, in order to preserve the integrity of the comments section and keep it clean, all commenters are required to log in through their Facebook page so that their photo and real name will accompany their comment.

With my finger hovering over the keyboard, I thought about this for a couple of minutes before deciding not to submit my comment.  What scared me away?  I am not a troll who posts derogatory, inflammatory or offensive comments in response to news stories. I don't use profanity, never berate other posters and make every attempt to keep my comments on-topic and not go off on ridiculous tangents.  That said, I guess I'm not quite ready to be completely transparent with my personal opinions when it comes to highly-charged stories.  The few times I shared my honest opinion on the Caterpillar story - that the union had to accept at least some responsibility for the outcome - most people became enraged and spouted sentences that started with, "It's people like you..."

As an educated person working in a (mostly) creative profession, living in a (mostly) progressive city in a (mostly) democratic country, I feel like I exist in a network where certain opinions, attitudes and outlooks are considered normal and appropriate.  Our profession seems to be dominated by people who are slightly left of centre when it comes to issues of a political or social nature and sometimes it feels like there is no room for someone to diverge from popular opinion. It's almost like there are a set of opinions that are considered the "right" opinions on topics like religion, unions, politicians, climate change, poverty, etc. and when someone tries to share a different thought, even if it's only a slight variation on the commonly accepted viewpoint, it is not always accepted in the spirit of debate.

For example, while I can see how someone like Toronto mayor, Rob Ford turns many people off, I am not in complete disagreement with all of his ideas. I feel like I'm intelligent enough to make this assertion and I generally do my own research before forming opinions.  However, judging from the end-of-the-world tone of the local Twittersphere when he was elected, I don't know if I'd be comfortable sharing this on Twitter.

Some people have gone so far as to set up Twitter alter egos so that they might have their professional, politically-correct Twitter handles with their own photo, as well as another, anonymous one that they use when they need to put someone in their place or share an opinion that could be unpopular.  I know some of these people personally. They are not crazy right-wing nutcases with wild opinions but they are savvy enough to know that holding certain opinions is tantamount to professional and/or social media suicide.   The alter ego idea appeals to me but I don't trust my ability to keep my two accounts separate so it's a recipe for disaster.

As I write this, it occurs to me that I might be too sensitive.  A friend said to me once that if you're afraid to annoy people on social media you're not doing it right.  It's food for thought and I'm seriously considering it. But will you still like me?

Tire Kickers - A Little Respect Please?

I haven't blogged for a couple of weeks, partly because I was in the country with my family, squeezing out the last days of summer. It was a wonderful vacation temporarily disrupted by a major etiquette violation I've decided to share in the context of a troubling trend for us entrepreneurs - the professional tire kicker.


An expression from the used car lot, the "tire kicker" is a person who wastes the time of a salesman though he has no intention of buying. We're not selling used cars at Palette PR but we are getting calls from many people who feel that investing in PR might be just what they need to weather the economic storm. Only, they're not sure how much they want to spend, what their objectives are, or when the project might start.


And, before taking the plunge, they need some assurance that it's the right step. This assurance comes in the form of a meeting in which we share our expertise, show examples of past work, talk about how we might help them and try to get a sense of what they're looking for. While we don't get an idea of the budget we are often promised that "while the initial amount will be on the low side, there is great potential for it to be increased if we're successful". This meeting concludes with a request for a two-or-three-page proposal in which we provide some free ideas for what a campaign might look like. A week or so later, we may be asked to come in and present the ideas in person to someone who is positioned as "the decision-maker". We are told that, if we can impress this mandarin, then the business is as good as ours. Sadly, all too often, this person has "difficulty understanding our vision" and asks for another memo with more detail on how things will play out. And on it goes until, after not hearing from them for a few weeks, we follow up with the potential client, only to find out that they have: a) decided they're not interested in PR after all, b) loved our ideas and have decided to do everything in-house, c) decided to work with another agency and haven't had a chance to inform us.

The person who disturbed the tranquility of my recent vacation was one such potential client, looking for PR assistance in an area in which I have considerable expertise. In order to make a decision, he needed a proposal very quickly. In a telephone conversation, I agreed to prepare a document for him within 48 hours. As an agency principal, I am always engaged in building the business so I begged forgiveness from my family, closed the door and put my work hat on. Five minutes after sending it to Mr. potential client, I received the following e-mail: "Thanks but we've already hired someone".


There is a professional way to look for an agency partner and many organizations respect it by clearly stating their budget, objectives and expectations for the project before meeting with agencies. Some work with search firms like Agency Link and some even compensate participating companies for ideas. When the process is over, these organizations call the unsuccessful parties as soon as the decision has been made and, in an ideal scenario, offer meaningful feedback that will help them do a better job next time.


I realize that, in trying times, it's tough to decide where to spend your marketing dollars and the wrong choice can have lasting consequences. But, that doesn't mean you have the right to waste anyone's time on phantom projects that may or may not happen, with a budget that may or may not materialize and the promise of future, more lucrative work that may or may not come to pass.


That's just not good etiquette!

Protest Etiquette - An Oxymoron?

Emigrating to Canada as a child is one of the best things that ever happened to me. This country is amazing in hundreds of ways. Canada is one of the most tolerant nations in the world and Toronto is the globe's most multicultural city. We're also very polite, ask questions before judging and tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Like most western countries, we support freedom of speech and the neighbourhood that is home to our provincial government buildings and a host of foreign consulates is often a site of peaceful protests. There is one happening now. The Greater Toronto Area has the largest population of Tamils outside of Sri Lanka and four days ago, thousands of them converged in front of the U.S. Consulate calling for a permanent cease fire in Sri Lanka. Since then, their numbers have dwindled but hundreds are still there and have vowed to remain until the U.S. and Canadian governments take action.

Despite its duration, the protest has been peaceful. But it has also been very inconvenient. The group has taken over a major downtown artery, forcing its closure, causing traffic chaos for three business days now and blocking access to some hospitals in the early stages. This street is such an important thoroughfare in Toronto that a parked car at any time of the day, is usually towed and ticketed within minutes.

I'm not going to comment on the cause at hand because I don't know enough about it to form an educated opinion but I have to wonder about the logic of inconveniencing thousands of ordinary people who are just trying to get to their jobs, which they probably feel lucky to have in a recession. The purpose of etiquette is to make other people feel more comfortable, and forcing commuters to leave earlier in order to drive around the blockage for three straight days is certainly not doing that. If the comments on this Toronto Star article are any indication, frustration over the traffic issues have eclipsed any empathy that citizens might have felt towards the protesters.

Does passion for a cause give any group the right to stop traffic? Is freedom of speech more important than the inconvenience of a detour? Should citizens of a city be put out because of things that are taking place on the other side of the planet?

Can etiquette and protests coexist?

A good time to ditch the rules of etiquette?

If you haven't read Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers yet, I strongly suggest you add it to your list. In a nutshell, the book explores all of the various factors that need to come together for someone to be highly successful in a chosen field. Hint: it's not just talent and practice. To make his point, he looks at how things like date of birth, family, cultural legacy, friendships and luck play a role in an individual's success.
On the flip side, Gladwell devotes some time on the role of culture in the failure of certain operations in a chapter called The Ethnic Theory of Plane Crashes. To demonstrate this, he suggests that certain airlines were experiencing an above-average frequency of crashes because the cultural legacy of their personnel prevented the co-pilot from speaking up when the pilot made an error. The etiquette of the airline's home country was so steeped in layers of hierarchy that, even when faced with slamming into a mountain at 100 miles an hour, "underlings" could only hint at what lay ahead. To be direct about it would be a violation of their etiquette code.
Gladwell's assertion that something as seemingly obtuse as a plane crash can be chalked up to cultural background has received mixed reviews but I found it interesting that lives might have been saved had the shackles of old-world etiquette been loosened a bit. Digging deeper, he explains that Eastern speech methods are based on a lot of direct and nonverbal communications that support the words spoken while the Western approach to speech is much more concrete and direct. In Eastern cultures, the onus is on the listener to decide what has been communicated by coupling the words with the nonverbal signals. In a Western setting, it's up to a speaker to make sure her words are correctly interpreted.
I prefer the direct approach but, of course, it's what I know and what I'm comfortable with. But, in an increasingly global culture, this story highlights the need to be aware of cultural differences in etiquette expectations when doing business in other countries.

Impeccable Imperative

The notion of living life in an impeccable way is an ancient one. It was part of the teachings of Greek stoic philosopher Epictetus and is a frequent maxim in the discourse of new age self help gurus.

But what does it mean to be impeccable? My trusty Oxford Canadian Dictionary tells me it is to behave in a way which is both faultless and exemplary. Wow, that’s a tall order!
With all of the balls we have in the air today, who has time to be completely without fault, never mind set an example for others. That’s just too much pressure right?.

While there are saints among us who are profoundly kind to all they meet, giving of themselves and generally making the world a better place, most of us operate in a zero balance state – comfortable in the knowledge that we didn’t intentionally ruin anyone else’s day but conscious that there are occasions where we could have acted with more grace or class.

But this might be a rare case where technology can have a positive impact on etiquette. 50 per cent of Canadians over the age of 18 own a cell phone, most of which have the annoying ability to take photographs, anytime, anywhere, stripping us of our privacy and reminding us of the need to live impeccably. We are never alone anymore and, actions that cast us in an unfavourable light, can be captured and shared with the world.

So, how about living life under the assumption that everything you do or say in public is could show up in tomorrow’s newspaper or tonight’s evening news. Will you show more compassion, kindness and benevolence? Would you smile serenely at ingrates who cut you off in traffic or take more than eight items into the express checkout? Could you, by necessity, become a better person?

Do what you say, say what you do

Recently, my colleague Martin Waxman, shared an e-mail he had received from a business acquaintance we both know. In content, format and style, it is a fitting example of how even the etiquette-savvy among us get tripped up when using the Internet to do business.

The e-mail's objective was to encourage Martin to purchase tickets for an upcoming event. It should be noted that the event in question was obviously near and dear to the sender's heart, featured a high-profile speaker and had a charitable component. All good things.

What raised the etiquette flag was the way the message was delivered. The e-mail started with Happy New Year and went on to read: "I wanted to send you a personal note...". When I read this, my eyes immediately gravitated up towards the To field, which read: undisclosed-recipient. In my view, a 'personal' note goes out to one person and starts with a personal salutation which includes the recipient's name (e.g. Hi Martin, I wanted to send you a personal note...). You could probably bend this rule if you were sending it to a group that was already in formation or a group small enough in size, that all members could be called out in the body of the e-mail (e.g. Dear PR Club of Canada membes or Hi Martin, Louise and Amy).

I realize in a time-starved world, it's tedious to send 50 separate e-mails when you can, in theory, accomplish the same thing with one. But, in our somewhat impersonal society, don't people deserve to feel they are worthy of a truly personal e-mail, especially when you are asking them to spend money?

In this case, the sender could have easily avoided the etiquette gaffe by simply omitting the word 'personal' and being honest with recipients by apologizing for the mass mailing up-front. A little honesty and humility can go a long way, maybe even encourage people to open their wallets.

Remember the Golden Rule

I recently had the opportunity to hear Pete Blackshaw, author of the great book: Satisfied Customers Tell Three Friends, Angry Customers Tell 3,000. Pete believes that, “thanks to consumer-generated media, even a single disgruntled customer can broadcast his complaints to an audience of millions”.

He also claims that companies with great products and services are losing customers because of poor customer service. I immediately thought of some Canadian organizations which offer high-quality products but have abysmal customer service. In other words, everything is fine until you call the 1-800 line. In one protracted call, the company can destroy all the goodwill it has amassed. Before you know it, you’re part of a community of irate customers swapping nightmarish anecdotes.

Among the more exasperating features of faulty customer service is the repetitive script you’re subjected to while on hold. The last time I found myself praying for Muzak, I whiled away the minutes by jotting down my impression of the real meaning behind these words.

Script: Thank you for calling. We are currently experiencing a larger than normal volume of calls.
Real meaning: Our call volume is the same as it always is but, because we don’t care about your time, we refuse to hire any more operators.

Script: Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line and someone will be with you shortly.
Real meaning: We know that your (enter deficient product here) is broken and you are so desperate to get it fixed you are willing to wait on the line for an hour.

Script: To help us serve you better, please tell us your account number, phone number, home address, etc.
Real meaning: We’re just keeping you occupied so you don’t realize how much time has passed. When we get you on the line we will drive you nuts by asking for this information again.

Script: While you’re waiting, why not visit our website where you’ll find answers to many of your questions in our FAQ page.
Real meaning: Even though you will most definitely not find what you’re looking for on our website, it is our hope that you’ll be too busy to call back today.

Customer service managers would do well to remember the golden rule of etiquette—treat others as you would like to be treated—when they are developing their consumer interface. If they did, they might not be tempted to use these terrible euphemisms for just plain bad service.

Time for class

Like the great author Lynne Truss, I've had enough of "the utter bloody rudeness of the world today" and this blog is a rallying cry for those of us who still believe in manners, customer service and the little niceties in life. I don't need to tell you that civility is at an all-time low in our society. Frantic schedules leave little time for common courtesy. E-mail communications lack the context, nuances and human aspect necessary for polite conversation. And devices that keep us plugged-in and tuned out encourage anti-social behaviour.

Yet, in spite of, or perhaps because of, the rise in electronic communications, it has never been more important to cultivate a sense of civility in life - to set yourself apart from the competition in business and just because it's the right thing to do in life. The purpose of etiquette is to make other people feel comfortable. Sounds easy right? In a recent U.S. survey, 79 per cent of adults said lack of courtesy was a serious problem yet, as we all know, it's not just the other 21 per cent that are behaving disrespectfully. Are we quick to judge others but slow to recognize our own etiquette faux pas? Are our manners conditional on the reaction of the beneficiary (e.g. if we hold the door open for someone and they show no gratitude, do we retaliate in kind?).

Maybe the rules of engagement have just become so muddled recently we don't know how to behave with decorum any more...even if we want to. In this blog, I hope to make a case for grace in all walks of life - business, social, politics, dining, dating - and my real job, which is running a public relations agency.

Hope you'll visit often.